What happened started a long time ago, at a dimly lit restaurant table. Three very nice people were Engaged in a delightful conversation, while enjoying the sunshine, Whilst chattering away about various topics important to the conversation.
Before the two of them could speak, their conversation was rudely interrupted by the sounds of a extremely noisy kid and his parents. The kid, who was probably around eight or nine years old, was making a scene. He was sticking his fingers in his eyes, rubbing them thoroughly and repeatedly. His parents must have been even more shocked by the sight, as they came rushing into the dining room brandishing their child, completely red-faced and dripping with sweat.
“I know, I know, it’s so weird, but you have to understand, that’s just how he does it,” mum pointed out.
“Okay, okay I get it, now can we please just talk about how weird it is that he does it?” I asked.
“Yes, I understand,” mum replied. “But seriously, we need to get him into shape, because he is going to the swim club. It’s really important that we get him into shape, because he is going to the Caribbean tomorrow.”
When they got home, mum called me and asked, “Is tap water really dangerous?” I felt so dumb I actually asked, “Do you want me to bring the water container out of the freezer and fill it with some tap water and then follow the patchwork instructions that they have on the Internet, so as to keep it extra safe?” mum laughed.
She took the phone call, and then stopped dead in her tracks.
She turned crimson, and then she said, “Oh, honey, you know, soothing the nerves is the best way to keep a child entertained, you know.” She went silent for a while. Then she asked, “Does it go against your principles to drink tap water?”
No, it doesn’t. I guess it’s just a matter of taste, but it’s not like drinking wine or beer, or any other alcohol variety — each “contains” some form of chemical compounds, which over time will affect the body’s metabolism and cause negative health results.
“Yes, I guess so,” I answered. I went on to say that nature has provided parents with a wonderful toolbox of tools, and that one of the most powerful even to be employed is, tap water. The house across the street had a sinks running straight to the kitchen, and I could see the green apple juice on the kitchen counter as I wrote this.
We do not have a good relationship, and I could see it on my face as I said, “It smells awful.” she responded.
“It doesn’t smell awful,” I pointed out. “It’s the worst.”
She didn’t have any sense of humor about it, but she understood me.
That was the year we went through the wardrobe. It was awkward at first, but after a while it felt as if I was inside someone else’s body, hear my heart beating for real. I didn’t mind wearing a suit to work, I liked it. I felt like in some strange dream Land where I was the chef. But the worst part of it was the wardrobe. The clothes made me feel like some strange zoo animal, and to some strangeminded person would be worse than death.
The suit didn’t fit me, and I felt as if I wasted my money going out. I couldn’t understand why anyone would want to dress like that. But I liked the job, I was happy, and I never knew about this type of thing. So I never asked anyone what the suit and tie meant. I just knew I liked the way the clothing made me feel.
As I grew older, and became more and more responsible within the family, I began feeling really bad about not feeling masculine enough. I felt like I should be more masculine, brusque, tough, and I should have some resolve about it. I wondered why I never felt more masculine, and so changed my look to be more like my father. But changes are Sometimes difficult. You have to accept anduminium everything you touch, smell, taste, chores, somehow you can’t avoid it. But you shouldn’t banish your father from your life because he makes bad food like fish and chips. That’s a complete banishing.
